Who's in control really, though?

The condom is just the gateway to greater denial.

The second certain thing

I'm a bit late for the end of the tax year, but that's just the way the schedule worked out.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Alternatively, she could get together with her girlfriend's ex, pin her down and give her a taste of her own medicine.

Work harder, not smarter

Getting rid of that annoying location earlier might be worth the extra resources, but just make sure you don't fail the test or it will all be wasted.