Episode one begins in five, four…

I wonder how many more girls will get drawn onto the denial lifestyle by watching the antics of the increasingly-frustrated housemates. The final line-up of contestants will be revealed here in two weeks' time, so now's your last chance to nominate your favourite or suggest a name.

In reality, the entire television series would only last a few weeks, but at the rate I publish captions, it'll be about a year before the winner is crowned, so I'm going to have to ask you to be patient and I hope it'll turn out to be as much fun for you as it's been for me, writing them so far.